Another Failure

hi ther....
I just experience another failure in my job.... I don't know what is going on with me & my life right now. It is awful to thru this esp when you were good student & was good in studies. What is lacking in me is lots of this but certainly it is not a confidence, i have that in abundance. I think my luck is not on my side. During one interview i heard someone saying that no matter how good you are eventually everything depends on ur luck. And i simply disagreed with that person. But now everything is making sense to me.
Most of time i think that i might have to change my career option if i don't get in the field which i want to go. This i came to know about when i got two job letter when i tried in other field then my own. The only difference is that their mode of work is different [i don't know how to say that].
Hey! but i can't lose my hope just like that. My hope to make it in my field is high.... no matter anything happens. This was my 3rd interview in my field in which i didn't made it. And all of these 3 interviews have 1 month gap or 3 weeks..... Opportunity is not coming to my side.... But thats not the end.
Without the doubt i have made few mistakes before in job hunt or rather i should say the opportunity which came to me. But at that time i was helpless & we all learn from our mistakes isn't it??? So i did too & i'm working on it. Its bit frustrating but still i have to face it....

I Can't Sleep

Hey! ya.... I hate when i don't get sleep. I'm insomniac. Well, it doesn't stay with me all the time but it do come back to me after a while. What i feel about this is.... i can't express it. It is so because it is totally depends on that time. Sometimes i lie in my bed doing nothing, sometimes i cry, sometimes i feel hungry & eat [sometimes there is no food to eat i have to stay hungry which frustrate me more], and most of the time daydreaming.
I don't have money to go to doctor. I'm still doing through remedy which i came to know about through internet i.e. warm milk with honey. I'm doing it from past 1 month & there is no such change in my sleeping habits. It is still the same, i guess..... Well, it is not. I sleep little bit early then my regular time which is 3:30am. Usually these days i sleep around 2:45am.
Worst thing is that i sleep late & get up early. And through the day i stay lazy & feel sleepy.... which so obvious. I didn't try any other method then milk with honey. I don't know whether it will work with me or not?
Is anybody who is there & reading my blog & also suffering or was insomniac pls do tell me what to do. I don't wanna be addicted to the "pills"...
Does anybody felt like suicidal throughout the phase of insomnia?? Bcuz i do feel like it but eventually my sense are very friendly to me & my mind which always say to me at that time "u have to live, u are not coward & u yet to see ur life".

Hi ther.... this is my first blog which i'm writing... And it is very obvious that i'm very excited about it. I dunno what i'm gonna write & what i will going to express but i hope u will really going to enjoy this.
And pls be free to give me tips on my writing & all the materials i'm going to out in this.
I love writing.... I been writing since i was 16 years old. Although i haven't done any course or graduation in writing but i still enjoy it.
I think maintaining a diary was fabulous this happened to me at that time & i'm still very glad that it happen. I feel good to write in. At that time i used to write in a diary but know from past 3 years i'm writing in MS Word which is password protected. And it is very good for keeping my things very safely. But sometimes, i really like to write my thoughts & my feelings in a paper... I felt that writing in a paper is more beautiful & i feel more good to write in it.
I try my best level to write positive thoughts in it. And yes, my most of writings are positive but i usually or rather i should say easily carried away by the not so positive thoughts.... LOL
I think "lol" have become my fav word which i write very often no matter i'm writing a sms, scarp, journals or email....
I day dream a lot. And sometimes i get so badly carried away by it that i almost forget to do some important things. But at same time i believe i don't have to pay for day dreaming neither it is hurting me. I really enjoying it & i like it a lot. I know the way my life is going on nothing what i day dream will become true. And thats the thing which makes me wanna do it more & more. Is that a waste of time??? I don't think so neither i'm living in a denial.... It makes me happy & i wanna be happy. It's not like that they won't become into reality some did & most of things didn't. But point is it makes me happy. Whats more important then happiness....